How Time Flies

I didn't do a lot today. Life has been so busy with the end of school activities and projects that I took a day to sit and scrap. Not that my house couldn't have benefitted from me doing some cleaning or the yard, which resembles more of a jungle than a yard right now, could use some major trimming, but  not today.  Instead I scrapped.

Now when I scrap I don't think ahead of what photos I'm going to use.  Today I needed to do a layout for one of the creative teams I'm on and the kit (Will you marry me? by Edeline Marta Designs) was a bit challenging because I didn't have any wedding photos to scrap. But the sentiment of Now and Forever made me think of the love I feel for my children, so I dug out a photo of them just over 1 month old to use. I think it worked well with the kit, don't you?

Then later, after dinner I decided to take on a challenge by the 30inJune group at  Two Peas in a Bucket which listed today's challenge as scraplifting a layout made by one of the Two Peas Garden Girls (layout designers).  So I chose a layout made quite awhile ago by Shimelle Laine because the design worked well with the photo I took last night as the boys were heading off to play in their last band concert at their middle school. They were dressed in their tux shirts, blue bowties and cumberbunds looking mighty grown up and handsome for 14 years old.

 Then it dawned on me, that I had scrapped photos of the boys shortly after birth and now 14 years later...my how time flies.

If I blog, will they come?

How does one get followers to their blog? Friends to their facebook?

Networking has never really been my forte, even though I understand how important it is. I've struggled with finding work because I don't have a great network of connections. It's not that I'm not qualified, or a good person, but in this day and age of electronics, the adage of "It's WHO you know, not WHAT you know that counts" is even more true.

So if I blog, which in my head is a bit of a cross between personal journaling (weren't diaries meant to be secret?) and public proclamation (sharing photos), will I be the only one reading my blog ultimately?

What makes a blog worth someone else's time to read?  Do I have to be promoting product (i.e. digital scrapbook supplies) or a cause ( i.e. charities?) or sharing tips and tutorials on my areas of interest to draw a crowd, or am I enough?

That is the bottom question that I've struggled with all my life.  "Am I enough?" Or do I have to perfect myself in some way to be accepted? Perfectionism? Abandonment Issues? People-Pleasing? Co-dependence?  Those are traits/fears I've honed yet that haven't served me well. So I'm working on that. I want to be liked. I want to be noticed. I want to be valued. I want to be enough just as I am, quirks and all. Is that really too much to ask?

But for now, it's what I'm offering.  Me...as is.

What is in my Blog?

I've been thinking about blogging and what it means to me.  You see, life is full of bits and pieces, events, people, holidays, moments...I like to scrapbook those to document for future reference to look back on the past with some visual jogging. I don't scrapbook chronologically; I'm not organized in that way. I'm definitely an eclectic mix of traits, so why wouldn't my pages reflect that? But I do like scrapping...it relaxes me, and let's me focus on the richness of my life, the tapestry, if you will, that went into me being where I am today, in this moment. My pages say a lot, but I'm thinking that my blog can add even more dimension by telling more of the background story as to why I scrapped a particular photo or memory. So for now that's how I'm going to use my blog--a way to have a journalled accounting of my creative attempts at keeping memories alive.  Don't be miffed that you will see photos from years ago mixed with something that happened today; just know they all are part of the big quilt of "my life" keeping me warm in the afterglow of sharing the stories.

With that in mind I am going to do some catch up of prior scrapping that I didn't blog while I took a hiatus from blogging. Come laugh, smile and maybe cry with me as I look back and see where I've traveled.

One of the things I had to get used to following my divorce, was doing things alone with the kids. The first year was hard, but with time it has gotten easier, except when it's expected I be in two places at once. Still haven't figured out how to do that.

As a family we used to go to an evening parade in the summer called the Torchlight Parade. It starts at 7 p.m. and goes as late as 10 p.m. with the floats outrigged with lights to make them seem magical as the sky darkens. But I was leary of taking two young boys (5 years) downtown on the bus at night alone. I decided to go for it and we had a lovely time, although the ride back seemed an eternity. Here's a layout to document my bravery and new-found confidence as a single mom navigating new horizons.

A couple months later we took on the Puyallup Fair...nothing can stop us now.

 

It's been many years now and I'm a seasoned single mom. I will never tell you it's been an easy path to follow, but having my kids by my side has made every step worthwhile.

Milestones

One more Dr. Who layout...I mean, really, can you have too much Dr. Who?  This one is of the boys dressed as #10 and #11 meeting each other (which I'm not sure is possible in "Whoville") but who's to say what is or isn't possible for Dr. Who?

And in the aftermath of the tornedoes that hit Oklahoma and threaten Texas today, I went on facebook to see if my brother's family were out of harm's way. I am not a facebook fan so rarely check out people's pages, but while I was there I ran across this lovely photo of my grand-nephew Henry turning 3. I just had to scrap a page of that. Isn't he a cutie?

One more thing today. The boys are having their end-of-the-season Ultimate Frisbee party this afternoon. Given it's raining, the probability of them going out for any Frisbee play is questionable so not sure how good of a photo opportunity day it will be, so instead, here is a layout from their final tournament game played last Thursday in the sunshine to commemorate the last game of middle school.

Who is Who? Doctor?

Wow, it's May 2013 and I've avoided writing in my blog for nearly 3.5 years.  Why? Lots of reasons, not necessarily good ones.  I started my blog when I began applying to be on creative teams for digital scrapbooking designers, but realised that I didn't really use my blog in conjunction with that role. I like posting my latest layouts here but part of me got scared that maybe I shouldn't be making my life so public. I still haven't quite worked through that one yet.  Then there's the "I've been very busy being a single mom to growing boys" but geesh, that's a reality whether I blog or not.  And the last reason and probably the most telling is my insecurity of wanting things to be perfect. The desire for perfectionism is really a curse since it keeps me from doing things because I worry they won't be done well enough or often enough...so today, just for today, I'm going to post two layouts I completed.  They are of my boys, now 14 years who are just finishing up their last year as 8th graders in middle school. 

This week was Spirit Week. And although the boys both told me prior to the week's start that they definitely would NOT be participating in dressing up...things changed as the week progressed. 

They DID NOT dress up for Monday's pajama day, although in the past that has been a favorite. As I picked them up from school, I saw lots of kids walking home in pjs...

Tuesday was mustache day, and true to form, they had turned down my offer to use theatre "glue" to add fake hair to their lips for a real looking mustache.  But as Noah was  heading out to school, he was looking for Sharpie Permanent Ink Pens to draw on a mustache. I put a kabash to that idea giving him an eyebrow pencil to use instead...mustache was drawn on at school and removed before coming home from Ultimate Frisbee practice with the only comment referencing it, being that he still believed Sharpie Pen would have been better. 

Wednesday was 80's clothing style...Owen went minamalist; he wore tight fitting jeans and a long sleeve red snug fitting tee. Noah, on the other hand, wore gray slacks, a black tight fitting tee, a black dress shirt tucked in and unbuttoned to his navel with the sleeves rolled up once instead of buttoned, shades and a newsboys' cap. You have to close your eyes and imagine it because he refused to cooperate for a photo by his mother.  Teens!

Thursday they both went all out. I spent Wednesday at the thrift stores hunting down a list of requested clothing.  It was Character Day-favorite tv or movie character.  Owen chose Dr Who (#10) and Noah chose Dr Who (#11); they looked smashing. Owen wore a dark navy double-breasted pinstriped suit, white dress shirt, navy tie, long brown trench coat and black heavy rimmed glasses.  Noah wore a brown/brown pinstriped dress shirt, black bow tie, and brown tweed sports coat over jeans. Here is their interpretation of the two Dr. Who (I managed to snap a few quick and not always in focus photos--but Dr Who moves so fast, perhaps in focus isn't necessary).

And here are my layouts of each of the boys' renditions.

 

 

Ok, so now I've waded back into the blog posting waters...we'll see how long it might be before I venture back. I seriously doubt I'll be arriving by Tardis...